8 Life-Changing Lessons My Husband Taught Me (without him even knowing)

I have known my husband for almost eight years. In that relatively short amount of time he has taught me A LOT, not just in words and explanations (although I’ve asked him more questions than I can count!) but also in nonverbal ways, just by observing his reaction or response to a situation. He is the greatest human being I’ve ever met and every day I honestly wonder what I did to deserve him. He treats me better than I’ve ever been treated before and is constantly filling up my love tank by speaking my love language, which is words of affirmation. (If you aren’t familiar with the book “The Five Love Languages,” I HIGHLY recommend it!)

I made a list of the eight greatest lessons I have learned from my husband and I honestly mean it when I say that these things all come naturally to him and I truly wish I could be more like him!

1.) Always be kind
Besides for his incredibly good looks, the first thing I ever noticed about my husband was how genuinely kind he was to people. And what really impressed me was that he treated everyone with that same kindness…it didn’t matter if they were his best friends or a random waiter at a restaurant. He was just genuinely nice to everyone and I realized what a rare quality that is these days.

2.) Don’t sweat the small stuff
In all the years I’ve known my husband I have never seen him get worked up about anything. Big things and little things…nothing trips his trigger. Here’s a prime example. If I’m running late for work everybody in the house will know it, because I’m frantically moving all over the place, definitely saying over and over again how late I am, and trying to get my things together before I head out the door a hot mess. My husband on the other hand? The only way I’d ever know he’s running late is by looking at the clock. He acts exactly the same no matter what, which is always cool, calm, and collected. I so wish I were more like him!

3.) Never hold grudges
In all the time I’ve known my husband I can attest to the fact that he is not one to hold a grudge. I wish I could say the same about me! No one knows what tomorrow may bring. Life is way too short to stay mad at anyone. As hard as it may be, forgiveness will always win.

4.) Let everything you say be edifying
Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” I have never heard any “unwholesome talk” come out of my husband’s mouth. He doesn’t think it and therefore doesn’t speak it. Such a hard but necessary lesson to learn!

5.) Always look for and find the silver lining
I remember when I flooded our basement for the first time. (Yes, unfortunately it happened more than once.) We had recently moved into our new house and our washing machine empties into a big sink, unlike at our previous apartment….you can probably see exactly where I’m going with this. I was doing a load of laundry and totally forgot that I had left a baby onesie in the sink because our baby had a blowout earlier and I rinsed it out in there. Anyway, imagine my surprise when I went downstairs to throw the laundry into the dryer and stepped into a puddle of water at the bottom of the stairs. That was one of the worst days of my life. I remember being so scared when my husband came home from work because I was sure he would be upset with me (I mean c’mon, he totally had reason to be!). But you know what? HE WAS SO INCREDIBLY KIND. He made me feel like it wasn’t that big of deal (only a $100 mistake and countless hours of his time and energy, but that’s beside the point). And when it happened a second time? He was just thankful that he knew exactly what to do and had leftover carpet pad. Yes, he’s honestly that amazing.

6.) Don’t overthink things or read into things
I think this may have something to do with my two X chromosomes, but I tend to way over-analyze situations or conversations. My husband is the best voice of reason and has really taught me that it’s okay to believe someone when they say you look pretty or they’re happy to see you! Maybe you just really do look pretty and they really are happy to see you.  Life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we often make it out to be.

7.) Always be happy
You know how sometimes you just feel unhappy? And usually other people can tell as well? There’s a reason why the famous quote says “when momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.” My husband, on the other hand, is never unhappy, and I sure admire that about him. He is a true optimist and one of the most positive people I know. The glass is ALWAYS half full and there is always something to look forward to, even if that something is waking up and getting to drink coffee—which is pretty awesome if I do say so myself. 

8.) Never complain
My husband used to work rotating 12-hour day and night shifts. That was one of the hardest times of our life together so far. If you’ve ever done those shifts you can attest to how much it sucks. It just does. Sometimes on his day shifts he wouldn’t get home until 8 or 9 at night, meaning he had worked a 15 hour day, and would have to wake up early the next morning and do it all over again. Or if he was working night shifts he’d try to all the sudden switch his body into sleeping during the day and staying up all night, which just resulted in a zombie-like feeling for him and a lonely wife. In my opinion those things are easy to complain about, but my husband never did. Ever. I don’t know how on earth he did it but he never complained and just thanked God he had a job. I was always so amazed and humbled. If only we could all be more like that.

I feel like I could keep going on and on but my husband’s favorite number is eight so I’ll end it here and tell the rest to him later.  I want to challenge you to tell your spouse, friend, or loved one the good qualities that you admire in them because I guarantee they want/need to hear it and you will 1000% make their day. And remember, “be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

9 Replies to “8 Life-Changing Lessons My Husband Taught Me (without him even knowing)”

  1. My husband is cool under pressure. I wish I had his ability to “not sweat the small stuff” like you’ve mentioned. I blow things out of proportion, stressing about the details.

  2. You both are wonderful human beings. The draw you both had to each other is something that most seek for in life but not everyone finds. I’m so happy you are together and building a beautiful family! Sending my love!

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